MLB’s tacky problem

For Gaylord Perry, today’s pitcher’s mound would be a candy store. Perry was a gifted pitcher during the 1970s and later a Hall of Fame inductee, but he also was a notorious cheater. His go-to substance to doctor a baseball was Vaseline, though in his book, “Me and the Spitter,” he said he once tried fishing line oil. Today, however, Perry would delight in the arsenal of substances routinely used by this generation of pitchers. Sunscreen. Hair gel. Distilled Coca-Cola. And of course, Spider Tack.

Spider Tack? Yes, a gluey substance that competitors in strongman tournaments use to help grip 300-pound stones has become a favorite for pitchers desperate for an edge.

Last week, Major League Baseball announced a crackdown on doctored baseballs. Pitchers caught cheating will get ejected and suspended for 10 games. Though using foreign substances to alter the movement of the pitch is almost as old as the sport itself, the ubiquity of doctored baseballs has reached new heights. League officials have checked thousands of balls used this season, and sent suspect balls to labs for analysis, The New York Times reported. The verdict: Most of those balls had been tainted with some foreign substance.

And so, once more America’s pastime cowers in shame. As Yogi Berra said, it’s like déjà vu, all over again. Barry Bonds evokes not enduring greatness but steroid infamy. The Houston Astros still bear the stain of the sign-stealing scandal during their 2017 World Series run and the year after that yielded a $5 million fine, suspensions and lost draft picks.

Baseball’s new black mark potentially has deeper ramifications for the sport. The advantage that ball-altering pitchers have threatens to make the game duller. Baseball already is scrambling for ways to spice up games — even to the extent of, at the minor league level, experimenting with moving the pitcher’s mound back a foot to give batters a better chance at swatting doubles and triples. But surreptitiously dabbing a bit of pine tar or Spider Tack on a ball gives the pitcher more grip, which creates more spin and consequently, pitches that become increasingly unhittable. Strikeouts multiply, hits dwindle, interest in the game wanes.

If they continue turning to tacky gunk for help, MLB pitchers face the same taint of ignominy that befell the likes of Lance Armstrong, Sammy Sosa, the Russian Sports Ministry and countless other cheaters.

In other words, pitchers will have to get better without the gunk.

But cynicism won’t help. Coming out of the pain of the pandemic, we need baseball more than ever, for our collective psyche, for our transition back to relative normalcy. The game won’t be saved if it’s enshrouded in disgrace.

And as Little Leaguers, high schoolers and college players return to diamonds across Chicago and the rest of the country, the last thing they need is the message that alchemy on the mound is just part of the game.